Steam Points are better kept in your pocket than spent on Steam summer sale stickers – Rock Paper Shotgun

“It’ll be easy,” I believed to myself, when it was suggested someone do a great, timely little post on the new-ish Steam Points system, and the different brand-new goodies on offer through it. “Sure, no problem,” I stated, when Matt refused to compose it because he thought Steam Points were “pointless”, and I was the only other writer on the call with Graham. Matt was being negative, I figured, and I ‘d show him the mistake of his ways with my happy-go-lucky, anything-goes, great times mindset. I ‘d breeze onto the Steam store, have a browse of what points-purchasable things were on offer, and do a quickie piece highlighting some of the most chuckleworthy.

Well, ends up Matt was right, and I was not.

It’s not like I do not get the principle. It’s like a commitment scheme, innit. You buy games, and with every bit of genuine money you spend, you accumulate pretend money with which you can buy enjoyable little things from the shop you’ve worked with. The going rate is 124 Steam Points for each paaaahnd. I don’t understand quite how it works with the Steam trading card system, which I was never interested enough in to determine, nor the badge-crafting system which I’m quite sure becomes part of it, however apparently those two things still exist, and everything makes sense.

Steam Points aren’t even new, apparently. In truth, as it turns out, I’ve got tens of thousands of the bastards currently. I think maybe they were a seasonal thing? You can tell what an effect they’ve had on my life. In any case, whatever the offer was with them previously, they’re now … permanently a thing? And the things that they purchase will last indefinitely, instead of dissipating into electric farts after a few usages. OK, really excellent. So what is available?

Well! Since the Steam Summer Sale– check out our picks for the finest deals here— there’s a load of brand-new things contributed to the haul of existing … things. To one level or another, they’re either cosmetics for your Steam profile (like animated backgrounds, which are a bit MySpace IMHO), or emoticons, sticker labels and chat effects to use in Steam chat. Here’s a few of the new crop of animated stickers, which I have not troubled to make into an animated GIF, so you’ll need to use your imagination:

steam points 2

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Good old Gerald. I have to state, I still wasn’t feeling it. And Matt’s concern made me understand, deep in my soul, that my stickers had just seen their last and first uses. Being a sucker for the sunk cost fallacy, I went and purchased more gubbins. I bothered Matt once again:

steam points 3

Look! It’s all your favourite characters from … games! Admittedly, some of them are pretty enjoyable in the sense of” ah, there is a character I acknowledge, attracted a different design from the one in their video game of origin”. I’m not sure what usage they could potentially be? For a start, I don’t truly utilize Steam chat. There’s currently an upsettingly a great deal of communication apps continuously buzzing, blinking and booping their way through my attention span every damned day, and except for on some unusual celebrations where it takes place to be the medium most easily to hand, I don’t especially want to utilize yet another one.

steam points 5

Look, it’s lieutenant wossnames from thingy! But even if I did use all of it the time, I’m struggling to believe when these stickers and so on would prove helpful, at least after the novelty value wore off. I imply, how often do you actually feel anything which can’t be revealed in words, however which can be expressed by a 3D model of Cuphead, bobbing up and down vacantly?

Perhaps, I thought, I was being a little bit of a git. Perhaps if I simply splashed some of my hoard of Steam Points on the important things, I may begin to get in the spirit of the system. I used the ghosts of pounds invested years ago to grab a slapdash assortment of things I liked the appearance of, and fired up Steam chat to inflict them on somebody. Matt occurred to be online, which appeared fitting, so I chose to pay him a see.

It’s Wario Matt, just accept it. Which was that. Now half an hour has passed, I want I could just have the points back. At least they have some sort of appeal to an unclear hoarding instinct because even though they may not be worth anything in themselves. They were a method in which the thousands of hours, and pounds, I ‘d invested throughout the years had actually been turned into something discrete and different. A sort of talisman, I think, to make me seem like I ‘d attained something by investing cash. And now they’ve been turned into sweating headcrabs, bathing Geralds, and hairy Warios, which I will almost definitely never ever discover an use for.

Ah well. Possibly I’ll enter into Steam trading cards after all.

steam points 2

To one level or another, they’re either cosmetics for your Steam profile (like animated backgrounds, which are a bit MySpace IMHO), or emoticons, sticker labels and chat results to use in Steam chat. Here’s some of the brand-new crop of animated sticker labels, which I have not troubled to make into an animated GIF, so you’ll have to utilize your creativity:

Look! Look, it’s lieutenant wossnames from thingy! I used the ghosts of pounds spent years ago to get a slapdash variety of things I liked the appearance of, and fired up Steam chat to inflict them on somebody. Good old Gerald.

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